Whumping and Splodging Ice-Cream

In the end its all really rather very simple. After spending a few hours mindlessly walking around the shopping mall, Mum and I decided that a long sit down in some place comfy (a contradiction in terms when it comes to shopping malls and food courts), a spot of people watching and a sweet treat in the shape of a McDonald’s ice- cream cone was in order.

It must be said that Sweetpea is still learning to eat ice-cream. She hasn’t yet grasped the idea of licking the swirling coil of ice-cream around and around; rather she tends to whump her whole mouth down on the mountainous top of frozen sweetness and then refuse to close her lips – probably because the ice-cream is too frosty for her to manage. Rather than wasting a whole ice-cream cone on a child who, after two or three whumping attempts would refuse to have anything to do with said offending item, it was decided that Sweetpea would share whumping rights on an ice-cream with me.

And true to form, after several attempts at whumping mouthfuls of ice-cream and coming to the conclusion that the ice-cream was much too cold to try eating, Sweetpea wrinkled her little nose up and turned her head away, making it all too clear to me that she would not be endeavour to whump any more ice-cream that day. But of course, the wrinkled nose got to me, so adorable were the crinkly folds that she wore on the bridge of her nose as she screwed up her face. So I took my ice-cream and splodged her on the nose! Yes I did. She looked shocked for a mere moment and then burst into laughter that echoed through the cavernous food hall. Wiping off the offending food with a hand that could only be described as podgy and not be an insult at this time of life because all toddlers have podgy hands, she looked to me with such excitement and eagerness that I knew what I had to do. I splodged her again. It was such an uproariously funny thing to do that Sweetpea dissolved into peels of laughter once again. Cocky with my success, I went for a third attempt at splodging, but Sweetpea was too fast for me. She ducked out of the way of the oncoming ice-cream cone and burst into laughter at her own cleverness. For several minutes we played the duck and weave or be splodged game. And all the while, Sweetpea laughed so hard that she was gasping for breath, giggling wildly, looking to me to keep making her laugh. It was wonderful.

I wear many titles with great deal of pride in my life. Female. Daughter. Sister. Woman. Mother. Friend. Wife. All of them very important, each one forever altering my self-perception in ways that are not to be denied. They are the socially bestowed titles that everyone has a chance of gaining. However, it’s the newest title that I treasure, for I am officially the “Funniest Person Ever”. Yup. That’s my most up-to-date title. I am the funniest person ever because I splodge ice-cream. Just ask Sweetpea.